❝ From all the truth that I said, I am going to give all my SECRETS away... ❞
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Randome [6]
Posted Tuesday, April 7, 2009 // 10:26 PM
lets see...today ish the middle of april..counting..i been working here in Maine for about half year now...[gosh time flies...a bit]...but yeah...anyways...work for me ish tireding and I cant always keep track of what Im doing..either Im making a mistake or pressuring myself or having or feeling that other people ish pressuring me...I still feel a bit out of place....recently...i been at home thinking and for some reason...I feel like when im at Maine like Im here visiting a relative or someone I know..for a bout a while...and feel awkward to me...I know Im up here for a reason...but seems like I am here like I am a visitor and worker wellas a person feeling welcomed....but now...I just dont know...I been living with my mom for about Half a year now....but seems like i want to go back to NY and continue my old life of having her a bit out of my life...cauze for some reason I got so used to having her not in my life that Makes me feel that having her in my life...ish like I feel a bit like she an outsider [ person who I dont know but sorta related and knows me well?] but yeah...but lately at work, I dont know...workers been telling me and asking me when my mom will be opening the downtown restarurant...and I am like I dont know...why?...they reply..: 'cause if she down there, we feel more free and less being having her around to scream and complain" when I heard I sorta agreed...but then felt a bit regret cauze of what I agreed to ...but I just dont know..I felt that If I agreed then the sky will thunder and Ill be punished for saying something bad about my mom and if I dont agree..I can just ignore the whole thing?...I dont know....but yeah...anyways...me and my mom have been okay...some talks here and there...but right now..i feel like when Im at work, I miss my relatives and family and friends back in NY....like the whole family have all seperated into different paths rather then being together once an while for a family dinner or big celebration...even if we do have that, it has to be having one family memeber or group of certain ones missing...but hopefully we all as a family can stay and be able to see each other and really have a family thing..cauze I realize Family ish very important and no matter if they are either outside on their own...or being with their own type of family...I really really hope...my family can all come together and have a big family thing...cauze not being able to see a certain or whole family seems a bit like a piece missing from a frame or so...so yeah...Aside from that everything else okay....the baby got bigger and I got used of taking care of it...so yeah..Ill update more later...for now ishlike this...lols. until nexttime. Peace. Goodbye. Labels: random.. |
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Given name Jessie :) age : 22. Aries. Taken (maybe). Loves listening to music (depends on what gets her in the mood) Chatting and trying to be a realistic person :) MusicBoxx
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